Workout
The treadmill is the new runway
I invented the best game ever this evening. Since the guy next to me was hooting and hollering at the baseball game on TV, I felt like I had carte blanche to behave however I wanted on my own treadmill. I call this game the "Treadmill Pageant." You get on the treadmill, at whatever incline or speed you like, and you put on your iPod, and then you pretend you are in a beauty pageant dance contest. Your standard consistent motion should be a tippy-toe swiveling prance. I call this move "Pageant Pageant Pageant." Think of the entrance walks from "Toddlers & Tiaras" and you have it. Hold onto the sides of the treadmill so 1) you don't eat it and 2) you get kind of a arm/shoulder workout when you dip into lunges.
Songs that worked partcularly well for this are:
"Smack That" - everytime you hear "smack that" you jump and chassé, à la West Side Story
"Upside Down" - walking lunges to the disco beat, and do a forward hustle during the verses.
"Since U Been Gone" - Strut & dance during the verses, and SPRINT during the chorus. Run like it's not "Since U Been Gone" but "Since I Kicked Dirt in Your Retard Face."
Next time I'll add arm choreography. And make Sass videotape it. If you would like an in-person demo, please feel free to schedule a Crunch gym appointment with me.
Workout: 15 minutes on the elliptical. 20 of the best minutes of my life on the treadmill.
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Comments
Ugh my tag didn't work.
One girl said, "I can't believe she slept with your friend." and then i heard a different girl say to her friend, "I think you should cut him off" and the friend replied, "I feel like I have to keep him on a string or he'll go psycho." DRAMA.
Submitted by vonhottie on 10.17.09 at 12:29.
DRAMA! love your personalized disco runway. you make the sweat happen. you rock it lady!make that body pretty for naked time (out).
Submitted by sassletics82 on 10.17.09 at 12:36.
i will forever have images of you chasseing on the treadmill. i love it!
your new challenge: make grant writing like a pageant.
Submitted by mo rizzle on 10.17.09 at 11:12.
YOU ARE A GENIUS. I will no longer feel shame when I wave my arms to shakira and sing the good bits out loud
Submitted by Butwhatifido on 10.17.09 at 08:47.
I win I win I win. I'm like Jon Benet!!!
Submitted by vonhottie on 10.19.09 at 03:41.