I was supposed to train with Buffin yesterday, but I had to flee to Queens to rescue my babysitter-less godson, and subsequently my training session and day got hiijacked by a really cute pile of baby chub. I didn't see Buffin on Tuesday because he was a moron and went camping during the hurricane and was stranded upstate due to flooding. SO, I'll tell you the story of our session from last Thursday, because I never logged it.
Buffin had me do the countdown combo where I do a kettlebell swing followed by a squat thrust, starting with 8 reps and descending to 1, and he times me. The last time I did it, I did it in 3:58. Buffin's client best is 3:38. This time I did it in 3:26, which is just 3 seconds short of Buffin's own personal best time of 3:23. After, I was doing some lift thing with the kettlebell and I asked him if he gave me the 10 pound one, and he said, "No, that's 30 pounds." Ha! Basically, I crushed that workout. Here's where the story takes a dark turn, my friends. Buffin took me upstairs to the scale, and weighed me for the first time in 2 months, and I gained 5 pounds, and we're not talking British money. Buffin put on his sweet and delicately concerned face and we had a conversation about cardio and food logs blah blah, and I kind of wanted to punch the Universe in the face.
I mean, I workout 5 days a week, dangle from the ceiling and I'm only three seconds slower than my trainer, and I GAINED five pounds??? What do you want from me? If you'd told me a year and half ago that I'd take aerial silks classes 3 times a week and hire a trainer, I would have told you, "Yeah and I bet I look like Gabrielle Reese." Well, the short, blonde busty Gabrielle Reese. But you know what I mean. I just want to know how I can almost school my trainer and then I'm supposed to be worried about five pounds? I know how I gained those five pounds. I went on vacation, then Buffin was gone for 2 weeks, and I drank too much in July and August. And Sassletic gave me this very funny intervention/serious talk about how I could give up drinking and I was kind of stumped, and then I didn't believe it was possible, and then I said, "But I don't wanna!"
My point is, I think it's totally stupid that I gained five pounds and I think it's stupid that I'm supposed to feel bad about it. I think it's awesome that I got my butt over my head at least once, even if it doesn't happen every time I try, and I think it's awesome that I swing 30 pound kettlebells like they're puppies, and I think it would be awesome if I remembered to tell myself to walk away from those last 2 glasses of prosecco. But my point is that if the Universe, or society, or Buffin or whoever, is gonna deflate any of my hard work with some bullshit about five pounds, I will swing my 30 pound kettlebell puppy right into their face. Thank you. Now, If you would like to to use my soapbox, go right ahead, because I am done. xoxo von Hottie