• +40 Cardio Minutes

good for me.

• +25 Cardio Minutes

I accidentally double booked silks & Buffin, and had to go with Buffin, since it was a makeup session. More Flashdance ninja turkish getups, lots of crunches, one legged squat jumps, lat pull downs and pullups. There was a man in scrubs who I thought might be a McDreamy, but after I saw his bizarre form, I realized he was McScary.

• +25 Cardio Minutes

I should never have shown Buffin what I'm capable of, because now he expects a lot from me. I think he's on a mission, but hasn't told me yet what that mission is. Maybe it's a mission to train me to survive the zombie apocalypse so we can repopulate the world together? Oh, I hope that's what it is!!! We started with plate jacks w/ 25lbs, assisted pulllups (100lbs), split squats & ski jumps w/ weights, planks, pushups, Captain Hooks, lat pulldowns, and for the grand finale: Walking Kettlebell Swings! Frontwards, Backwards, and Side. Swinging 30lbs.*

After all that, it was my bright idea to do 25 minutes of cardio. When the zombies attack, I'm totally going to be ready to save the world for the future of all my little von Buffins.

*Next time, I'm writing all of Buffin's workouts in pig latin, because workout lingo is so boring.

• +16 Cardio Minutes

My Adventures in Guest Buffins: Tuesday

Last week, since both my aerial silks teacher and my trainer (codename: Buffin) were out of town, I took the opportunity to train with other gurus. Enter SoWo 1.0's resident badass and Quidditch master, Killercadoogan, who graciously offered to train me for a session to tide me over until Buffin returns. For the purposes of this story, I will hereafter refer to Kdoog as "Beast Buffin." Holy smokes. I've always had a healthy respect for the ambitious nature of Beast Buffin. We're talking about a guy who skipped marathons and went straight to running ultra-marathons, but now I humble myself before his badassness. I thought I had been trained before, but now I have been TRAINED. We started with a kettlebell session, where Beast Buffin showed me fancy full body situps (Turkish get-ups) that looked like choreography from Flashdance. After about an hour, he says he has something else to show me before we're done. I think I'm in for some reverse crunches or something. No. Beast Buffin pulls out a tug-of-war rope, lays it across the floor, lies down on the ground, holding onto one end, and tells me to pull him to me from across the room. The entire big boyz grunting section watched me pull BB across the room like we were an episode of Gladiators. I survived, and then BB told me to do it again. Twice. I figure after that, we MUST be done. That would be incorrect. Next he stands on a mat, tells me to grab his ankles, and push him across the room. At the end of the room, I have to go into a handstand, and then push him back across the room. We looked like an ant pushing a transformer. This time, I figure we ABSOLUTELY must be done. Again, incorrect. BB puts me on a stationery bike, and puts me through his signature cardio interval workout where I lift dumbbells while pedaling. It's the kind of thing that can be a workout on its own, but we did it at the end of all that other working out. I came home after the session, fell asleep over my lunch, and was sore for three days afterwards. Beast Buffin, we hereby award you a von Hottie Medal of Valor. Never has the von Hottness labored to get a man to cross a room to her and let him live to tell about it.